Growing up, I wanted to be a witch. I wanted to see a ghost. For me, those ambitions were right up there with becoming a famous singer…or actress…or writer…and making millions of dollars.

I can’t pinpoint where my obsession with “otherness” came from (though it likely started with this), although it did seem to run in the family—despite our religious background and understanding that the pursuit of anything magical/spiritual outside the confines of our faith was prohibited. Perhaps, in fact, that was part of the attraction.

To be clear, I’ve never loved horror—just everything horror-adjacent (with a love story on the side). I devoured Christopher Pike books at a far-too-young age. I loved ghost stories, and I entertained myself trying to imagine the most frightening scenarios possible.

Years of contemplating scary what-if situations did not build any calluses. Instead, I grew into kind of a scaredy-cat. I’ve also recently turned on the faith of my youth, and I don’t really believe in God anymore (at least, not in the traditional sense), let alone life after death, and therefore, ghosts. However, the pull to the supernatural and the unexplained is strong as ever.

There’s a trite adage, “Write what you know.” Most writers consider this unhelpful at best and bullshit at worst. Because it’s boring and impossible. I believe the point is don’t write outside of your lane or contrary to your own values and interests—in other words, don’t sell out. Because, really, all fiction writers explore what they don’t know.

I don’t know what I can’t see. I don’t know what influences people to do good or bad. What waits for us after death. I don’t know if I believe in ghosts, God, or Heaven. I don’t know if I can forever protect myself and my family from the monsters disguised as humans who walk among us. All of these unknowns result in both fear and curiosity. And so, I write about them. Not because I like being scared but because I like controlling my fear.

I think that’s why people read these kinds of stories too.

What do you think? Do you believe in ghosts? Let me know. And if you have a personal ghost story, please share it!